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Writer's pictureJet Noir

Taste The Soup | Taste The Tease

Taste The Soup!


One of the meals that I eat is a mason jar of soup that has a tan color and smooth texture.

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Because of the appearance, this exchange often happens… Them: “Is that peanut butter?” Me: “Why would that make sense? Why would I be walking around, in public, eating an entire jar of peanut butter?” Them: “I LOVE peanut butter!” Me: “So do I! But, that doesn’t mean that I would just walk around like a fucking 5 year-old, eating an entire jar of peanut butter with a spoon. It’s soup, it just happens to be brown.”

It’s worth mentioning… I could have just said that last sentence and kept it movin’. But, I choose to challenge people to think about their (interrogative) statements. I’m sure you’ve heard the argument that there are no stupid questions. While I do believe that people should ask instead of assume I also think they should think before they ask. A better example is the tattoo question. Them: “Did that [tattoo] hurt?” Me: “Did a needle puncturing my skin, 50 to 3,000 times per minute, hurt? No. It felt like the tongue of a baby Unicorn.” Them: “Well, you know what I mean!” Me: “No, I don’t.” There are no stupid questions, there are just people that don’t think before speaking.

Alright, enough of me being a dick, here’s the peanut butter soup recipe that you’ve been waiting for since reading the title of this post. [Also, please note that if you read the smoothie recipe from a few weeks back I’ve edited it to remove two ingredients.]

Here Are The Tools You’ll Need A high-powered blender (e.g. Ninja or Vitamix) Scale that measures in ounces Six Wide-Mouth (16 Ounce) Mason Jars

Here Are The Ingredients You’ll Need For The Arrogant Farmer’s Stew Boneless Skinless Chicken Thighs, 12 Ounces Lean Beef, 12 Ounces

Mirepoix, 1 Container

Arrogant Bastard Ale, 2.5 Cups Farmer’s Broth, 1.5 Cups (This is a mixture of different animal – beef, goat, chicken, pork, et al. – broths. If you haven’t slow cooked enough meats at home and saved the broth from each to make Farmer’s broth, just mix a few store bought broths.) Water, 1.5 Cups Raw Cashews, 1 Cup Skinned/Chopped Sweet Potatoes, 1 Cup Peeled Beets, 6 Ounces Drained/Rinsed Garbanzo Beans, 6 Ounces Garlic, 7 Cloves Chopped Fresh Sage, 2 Teaspoons Sea Salt, 3 Teaspoons Cayenne, 1 Teaspoon

Here’s how to do eet! Combine all of the ingredients in a 5 quart slow cooker. (A 4 quart slow cooker should also work. I suggest using one with an auto shut off timer if you’re often away from home.) Set it for Low/8 Hours and cover (there’s no need to stir). It should look like this when it’s done and your kitchen will smell great!

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Next, ladle it all into a Ninja Blender (or Vitamix as long as it’s high-powered). If you have an immersion blender, you can skip this step and just blend it right in the slow cooker. Keep in mind that you’re blending meat and an immersion blender may not stand up to that.

When you start the blender, start slowly and gradually increase the speed/power until you reach the max setting. Let it run until it looks like this…

…and then blend it some more. Pour it into 6, wide-mouth, mason jars and enjoy within 7-10 days. (It may keep longer, but, I wouldn’t push the envelope on that sort of thing.)

It’s worth mentioning (again)… The recipe disclaimer: Barring any allergies (foods that cause an allergic reaction are NOT the same as foods that you dislike) don’t make any substitutions until you’ve tried it this way first. Remember, if you go to a restaurant and special order something that’s not on the menu, you lose the right to complain about how the flavors came together in the dish that you made up. There’s a reason that the chef didn’t put your nasty concoction on the menu. If you decide to make shit up, you should eat it without complaint and let every disgusting bite be a lesson to you.

Want to see me talk shit and challenge you to exercise at the same time? Join me for a fitness class in San Francisco. Find me on the schedule at Studiomix.

Mondays Studio Road Ride @ 5:45PM Tuesdays TRX Bodyweight Burn @ 7:15PM Wednesdays Studio Road Ride @ 7:00AM Tabata Cross @ 5:45PM Cross Mix @ 8:00PM Fridays Studio Road Ride @ 6:15AM Tabata Cross @ 8:30AM

 

Taste The Tease “If you can talk you can sing, if you can walk you can dance.” -African Proverb

I’ve always been of the opinion that dancing is just the physical manifestation of our emotional connection to music. So, before you tell someone you can’t dance, just remember that you may not have found the right song. Keep listening. Come out, dance, shout, and show some love for burlesque this week!

Tomorrow night, come see me perform a new act in a burlesque show performed to covers of classic songs. Which song will I use for my performance? I guess you’ll have to come out and see! Here’s the link: Monday, July 6 – Hubba Hubba Revue @ DNA Lounge in San Francisco Friday night, come see me perform as the American Flag in a State Fair-themed burlesque show! Here’s the link: Friday, July 10 – Hubba Hubba Revue @ DNA Lounge in San Francisco

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