Strength is not a matter of chance. Strength is not a matter of destiny. Strength is not a matter of genetics. (Your parents have well developed fast-twitch muscle fibers? Great! You still have to train. You still have a choice to make.) Strength is a choice.
There’s something that people have been saying to me for at least the last 15 years and I’ve always found it frustrating. I’d often hear this proclamation after suggesting that someone move forward in an emotionally challenging situation. While I know that it’s always easier to offer such advice from the outside looking in, I’ve always believed that we have a choice to move forward or remain complacent. When I would suggest moving forward, people would often say… “But Jet, not everyone is as strong as you are!” I would always give the same reply. “That’s their choice. Anything I can do, they can do better.” I have many of the same excuses in my baggage that others hold. Growing up I was teased, I was bullied, and I’ve been betrayed by “best” friends. I’ve been beat up on the playground. Through all of those experiences, I still had a choice to make. I could have used those experiences from my past as my excuse for fear in the present. I could have used those experiences from my past as my reason for confidence in the present. I chose the latter. Strength is a choice.
My paternal grandfather died of a heart attack at age 59. He had six sons and seven daughters. Five of those six sons have all died due to heart attacks. None of them lived past the age of 43 (Forty-fucking-three). My dad is the last living son, he’ll be 81 this year. With that sort of lineage, I could have assumed a short life expectancy. I could have assumed that the trend ended when my last uncle passed on. My maternal great grandmother lived to see her 101st year. My maternal grandmother just celebrated her 92nd birthday. My mother will be 70 in February. I could have assumed that those genes would help to ensure a long life. I chose to care about what I put into my body and how I train my body. I chose not to wait around on fate or genetics to decide my end date. (Before any jackass comments below… Yes, I’m aware that a fit and healthy lifestyle won’t make me invincible. I’m not a superhero.) Nevertheless, strength is a choice.
It’s worth mentioning… There is a difference between health and fitness. While your level of fitness will affect your overall health, your health will not affect your overall fitness. While disease and lack of fitness are closely related, health and fitness are still mutually exclusive terms. So, the next time you hear someone suggest that they workout in order to be able to eat anything that they want, slap that fool. I love bacon and cookies. Running/lifting/plyometrics won’t negate the effect that bacon grease and refined sugar have on my body.
At the end of a (group exercise) class, I thanked a regular for trying. Perhaps you’ve heard, you never fail when you try. That’s mostly true. If you try to do a handstand and you fall on your ass, you have failed. Oh well. But, you tried. that’s what sets you apart from the average person that talks about how they wish they could do a handstand. In the sense that you have set yourself apart from the average lamenting drones of the world, you have succeeded. That success can be traced back to the choice you made… the choice to try. You haven’t failed, you have tried. There is a wide range of ability in most group exercise classes. By the time the class is done, there are two categories. There are the people that watched the exercise, shook their head, and decided to sit that one out or modify on their own because it looked difficult without attempting. (Why show up if you choose not to challenge yourself?) There are also people that aren’t as strong as the others in class, but still give it their all and try at every turn. That’s the person that I thanked at the end of class. I’ve seen her rehab herself from an injury and consistently get better and make gains because she keeps on trying. Her execution isn’t perfect. She may not win any competitions. But, she tries and tries again. She wins in my book. You’ve also heard that “there is no try, there is do or do not.” While that may be true, it takes strength to try before we do anything. Strength is a choice.
It’s worth mentioning… Someone may have tried that one exercise at a different time and they may already know that they are unable to execute. So, does that mean you just never try again? Ask a kid to do a cartwheel. Give them some encouragement for the parts they got right (don’t blow sunshine up their ass and say it was the “best ever”, just encourage them without over selling it) then watch them keep trying. Watch them try and try again because it’s fun and watch them get better. Find them a coach, or coach them yourself, and watch trying turn into doing. It’s also worth mentioning… Trying can be dangerous when it’s one-sided. When you apply trying to a relationship and you’re the only one trying, you’ll have better luck ice skating uphill. Be strong/smart enough to walk away when you’re the only one trying to make a relationship work.
After a recent class, I received this message: “Thanks for a great class today, I’m glad I got in 😊 I’ve been feeling a bit out of it emotionally and physically and I always feel better after one of your classes-like I can do anything! Thanks!” This message meant a lot to me because I never know if I’m getting through to anyone. When I was in high school, I was the head broadcaster for the Comet Connection. We made the daily PA announcements. At the end of each broadcast, I would say something that i found inspirational in hopes of inspiring the listeners. My art teacher pointed out, “you know those kids aren’t listening!” I replied, “if I can get through to one of them, out of 3,000, then it’s worth it.” I keep trying to make a difference in the lives of those I coach. As long as they keep making the conscious decision to try, the conscious decision to be (mentally/emotionally/physically) stronger than their lamenting peers, and the effort to feel better, they will be able to do anything. Strength is a choice. Giddyup!
Strength is not a matter of chance or destiny.
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