Sex as a form of caffeine. A ridiculous concept that I hope all of you are willing to try.
I drink about 2.5 cups of coffee a day. The half cup is just re-using the grinds from the first cup to make a cup of decaf. (Other wise, I’d be drinking 3-4 cups of the high octane giddyup and that would be no fun for anyone involved, trust!) While I try to time my caffeine intake so that I get the most bang for my cup, there’s a better form of caffeine available in limited quantities. It’s called sex, people. You can have it hot, iced, wet, or with (wait for it)… room for cream HA!
But, seriously folks, this week’s post is part 4 in a 7 part series about how I keep up my high energy levels. The coffee was no secret and it certainly wasn’t worth an entire post on how coffee works. This post will be written for those of you that have experienced orgasmic narcolepsy. Others that may benefit from this post may be those that have been told to “think about Baseball” to avoid cumming too soon. (That was the advice floating around 20 years ago. I pray to the great Boogie Monster in the sky that no one is still doling out that nonsense these days.)
There’s a book that I’ve tried to read more than twice. It’s called “The Multi-Orgasmic Man.” It’s a well-written book with some interesting techniques for, what the authors refer to as, Sexual Kung Fu. However, there was a little thing I had trouble getting my head around. It was le petit mort (the little death). For those of you that are orgasmically narcoleptic, there’s a chance you’ve read about it. The distilled version of the concept is that the human body works so hard to produce that ejaculate (from the penis or the vagina) that we experience a sort of death, in the most pleasurable sense of the word. The book suggests that the process of ejaculating makes us weak, zaps our energy, and makes it difficult for us to focus. Because of that, the book teaches men the difference between having an orgasm and ejaculating. I’ve had trouble getting behind the theory because my body doesn’t always work that way. There have been times when ejaculating has helped me to focus in finish writing that paper. However, the lessons taught in the book about having an orgasm and distributing the sexual energy of that orgasm throughout the body have helped me to have sex with greater frequency and a “2nd wind” of energy afterwards.
“Jet, you’re crazy! If I make the sweet loves, I’m done. I’m giving all of my energy to my partner and I won’t have anything left to give after the fact. I certainly won’t have more energy!” Stay with me on this one, what if you changed the way you thought about sex? Let’s go back to that “think about Baseball” silliness. What do you think about during sex? I find that gratitude can be invigorating. The words “thank you” are on a constant loop in my head during sex. I try to express appreciation for every way in which my partner has given herself to me. I express that appreciation with my thoughts, actions, and kind (albeit few) words. In the moments that my fingers touch her skin or when my fingers interlace with hers, I tap into her energy while sending her mine. That exchange is invigorating. Instead of thinking about something removed from the presence of our interaction (read: Baseball) I think about her. I think about how grateful I am that we’re sharing this experience. I think about all of the interesting smells and poetic sounds. I take it all in as energy and it excites me. The sensory stimulation makes my heart race and stays with me for hours (sometimes days) after an encounter.
Killing myself (as in the little death) is of no interest to me. So, ejaculating isn’t a goal of mine during sex. I’d rather have an orgasm from the energy exchange and carry that energetic high with me throughout the rest of my day. If you’re reading this and you are sexually active, consider sex an opportunity to connect with your partner on an energetic level. WTF does that mean? Have you ever had a hug in which you or the other person, audibly exhaled and proclaimed “I needed that”? That’s what it feels like to connect with someone energetically. I’ve seen posture change, smiles brighten, and attitudes adjust with a hug. Imagine the power of sex as an energetic exchange. In such an exchange, try to be energetically philanthropic in your encounters. Give your energy to your partner as you connect with them on a deeper level. If they’re following the Four Rs of good sex then the Reciprocity they give will provide the energy you need for your daily life. I once asked a woman out for a coffee. When she said that she was tired, I took it as a polite, “no thank you, I’m not interested.” Coffee (often) resolves tired. Hopefully, the sex (and energetic exchange) you have resolves tired. We can be too tired for many things, but hopefully not things that resolve tired. I challenge you all to change the way you think about sex.
Sex gives me energy. *say it with me* Sex gives me energy. *say it with me* Sex gives me energy.
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