I’ve noticed that a lot of people have always wanted to do a lot of things. When I mentioned that I was going skydiving this weekend many people mentioned how they’ve always wanted to do that. I over hear people using that phrase in reference to so many things. I’ve started wondering aloud, WTF is everyone waiting for? What stars must align in order for people to do the thing they’ve always wanted to do? How badly do you really want to do that thing? Twenty years ago, I made several “things to do before I die” lists. Over the years, pop culture unanimously started referring to these as bucket (as in kick the bucket) lists. It was when that happened that the concept became stupid to me. I couldn’t tell you where any of my past lists are hiding. Perhaps they’re in an old journal. But, the reason they lost importance to me was because of the focus on death. I know that I’m going to die at some point. There are lots of things I want to do in/with this life. I don’t feel that I should prioritize the trips I want to take, my marriage to Scarlett Johansson, or the fears I want to overcome because of my inevitable death. Shouldn’t I be pursuing my desires because of the gift of life?
What do you want to do with this life? Imagine that you’re in an interview and it’s your first day on this planet and in this body. The person interviewing you can be a god of some sort (if that’s what you believe in), your parent(s)/guardian(s), or your own reflection (because you are the first person you must answer to for your own life choices). Now, answer the question and write down the first three things that come to mind. Once that’s done, go out and do those things. Don’t do them because you’re going to die. Unless you’re an immortal, your inevitable kicking of the bucket falls squarely in the “No Shit” category of life. “But, Jet! What if the three things I write down will take years to accomplish!?” Well, I guess you’d better get to stepping! With a question as big as what do you want to do with this life, none of the answers will be simple or easy to accomplish. So, ask for help. (Hint: Asking for help when it’s difficult to do on your own is a sign of strength.) Strength is a choice. There are 20 reasons that you can concoct not to do those things on your list of answers. Excuses are a reflex; half the time they don’t even make sense to the person stating them. “Oh, Jet, you’re adorable. I can’t take that trip around the world because I have kids! That’s not an excuse, that’s a fact and you don’t have kids, so shut your pie hole!” True, I don’t have kids. But, other people have kids and they’ve taken that trip around the world. They’ve even written books about it that you could use as a guide. Here’s one book link. Here’s another book link. I’m sure you can find others. So, that’s one reason that you have no excuses, someone has done it before you and they’re often willing to teach you how to do it.
My challenge to you is to stop calling your bucket list a bucket list. Don’t call it anything. Don’t give that sheet of paper or Google doc a heading at all. It’s good to have goals, but, whether you call them life-long goals or super awesome fun time goals, they’re still things that you want to do. My challenge to you is to replace your excuses with cited examples of people that have already done something similar to what you’re trying to accomplish. Not only is it true that you can do that thing, but that thing has already been done. My challenge to you is to change your language from “I’ve always wanted” to “I’m going to” with the caveat that if you’re caught saying “I’m going to” more than three times that you buy the goddamned plane ticket, set the reservation, or find some way to set the wheels in motion to make it happen.
In a few hours, I’ll be jumping out of a perfectly good airplane for the second time. I can’t remember if this was ever on one of my lists, I just know that there’s no feeling quite like it. The first time I jumped (over a decade ago in Georgia) the group was shocked at how calm I was before takeoff. I explained, “Of course I’m calm. We’re still on the ground.” If you ever come over to my place, remind me to show you the DVD so that you can see my face seconds before the jump. I was not calm in the sky.
If you remember nothing else… Know that the list itself is unimportant. The action and the experience means much more than writing down or crossing off words on a page. Know that setting the wheels in motion is no reason to get nervous; at that point you’re still on the ground. When next we meet, I hope to see you all out and about doing instead of always wanting to do. Enjoy your week.
For those of you that missed my performance on 8/14, here are some pictures taken by Audrey Penven and Patrick McCarthy. I don’t have any pictures from my performance on 8/20 because it was a XXX show and no cameras were allowed.
Photo Credit: Audrey Penven
Photo Credit: Audrey Penven
Photo Credit: Audrey Penven
Photo Credit: Audrey Penven
Photo Credit: Audrey Penven
Photo Credit: Audrey Penven
Photo Credit: Patrick McCarthy
Photo Credit: Patrick McCarthy
Photo Credit: Patrick McCarthy
Photo Credit: Patrick McCarthy
Photo Credit: Patrick McCarthy
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