The term sex worker once confused my literal mind. I understood it to mean someone that was paid for sexual encounters (be they virtual via phone/internet or actual). When I heard a stripper refer to herself as a sex worker, I was confused. Sex isn’t in the job description of a stripper (not even in the private room)! How can someone be a sex worker if they don’t get paid for sex acts!? I checked the modern-day replacement for the World Book Encyclopedia, Wikipedia. And according to their definition…
“A sex worker is a person who works in the sex industry. The term is used in reference to all those in all areas of the sex industry including those who provide direct sexual services as well as the staff of such industries. Some sex workers are paid to engage in sexually explicit behavior which involve varying degrees of physical contact with clients (prostitutes, escorts, some but not all professional dominants); pornography models and actors engage in sexually explicit behavior which are filmed or photographed. Phone sex operators have sexually-oriented conversations with clients, and do auditive sexual roleplay. Other sex workers are paid to engage in live sexual performance, such as web cam sex and performers in live sex shows. Some sex workers perform erotic dances and other acts for an audience (striptease, Go-Go dancing, lap dancing, Neo-burlesque, and peep shows). Sexual surrogates often engage in sexual activity as part of therapy with their clients.”
Let’s assume, for the sake of this post, that Wikipedia is the absolute undisputed truth. That would mean that the phrase, “as well as the staff of such industries” makes the bartenders at strip clubs sex workers. The doorman at the Gold Club is a sex worker. The promoter that gets paid by the Pink Pony is a sex worker. I wonder how support for sex workers would change if these peripheral employees (that never remove clothing or see clothing removed) knew that they too were societal pariah? If you think that referring to sex workers as pariah is a bit extreme, perform a quick survey. Go ask a few conservative friends what they think of sex worker’s rights. Ask a few conservative parents how they’d feel if their daughter were to become a sex worker. (When you ask, you can leave out the part about their daughter working as a DJ in Club Platinum and focusing her energy on the 1s and 2s instead of laps and tips.) Sex worker’s rights are important to me as they should be to us all. “But Jet, why should I care? I’m not a sex worker? None of my friends are sex workers? How does it affect me?” If the rights of any human are allowed to be compromised due to their choice of employment we will poison the foundation of our society. We are all connected in some way or another. Human rights will never be “someone else’s problem” as long as you consider yourself to be human.
I want to be clear. When I mention the rights of sex workers, I’m not talking about rescue. With the exception of those that are victims of human trafficking, sex workers are not waiting to be saved by society.
Recently, I listened to a panel of sex workers and due to an agreement that I signed, I’m not at liberty to share what was discussed in that room. But, I will pass on one piece of advice from one of the sex workers. Challenge the statistics that people claim. When someone tries to convince you that the presence of sex workers (read: opening a Good Vibrations retail store near your home) will generate crime and lascivious behavior, challenge their numbers. That’s advice that I would give to anyone about anything. 76.5% of all statistics are made up on the spot (or in this case as I sip coffee and type). Do your own research. Look at public records of crime statistics before a strip club opened and look again after it opened. Be smarter than the agenda of those that attempt to convince you. Don’t be a lemming. Here are some resources for you to check out. Just click the pictures to visit the sites.
Referring back to the Wiki-definition of sex worker, another phrase jumped out at me. “Some sex workers perform erotic dances and other acts for an audience (striptease, Go-Go dancing, lap dancing, Neo-burlesque, and peep shows).” Holy shit! I’m a sex worker! Take THAT high school guidance counselor (and all the people that voted me “most likely to be a lawyer”) #TrueStory ! I’m a Neo-burlesque performer and I most certainly perform erotic routines for audiences. Huh! Who knew!? I once asked a primary partner (in a polyamorous relationship) how she’d feel if I were to act in porn (with condoms). She expressed that that would be crossing a line for her. I wonder if she ever thought of me as a sex worker. I wonder if she ever told her dad that I was a sex worker? I wonder if my clients that read this blog will treat me differently now that I’m a sex worker in Wiki-world? Who knows. Here’s a picture of me sex working in Seattle.
Courtesy of: Meneldor Photography (Rick Priest) https://www.facebook.com/MeneldorPhotography
So the joke goes… What’s the difference between burlesque and stripping? About $900 a night. I recently heard someone in the burlesque community attempt to answer the question, “What is burlesque?” (Why are people still asking that question? Burlesque has been on stages for well over a century!) Her answer pissed me off. She said, “it’s classy stripping.” The reason I have a problem with that response is that it makes this attempt to separate burlesque performers from strippers. That response suggests that we are some how above them and should not be in the same category. I don’t consider myself a stripper because, well… $900 a night. But, some of my best friends are strippers. I don’t feel the need to distinguish what I do from what they do with class distinctions. Real talk, I’m taking my clothes off (read: stripping) on a stage. I may take a bit more time with my routine in order to tease the audience, but a striptease is still a strip. So, I’m a sex worker. Will you still respect me in the morning? Will you still introduce me to your parents (knowing that I’ll answer honestly when they ask what I do for a living)? Will you stand up for my rights, despite your conservative upbringing? I hope so. Let’s live a life free from judgment. Let’s live together and choose to accept each other’s differences.
Courtesy of Leah Marie @ Share House Photography
Comments