Recently, I suffered through 3/4 of a movie preview for some bullshit entitled, “Girl House”. I’m not going to post a link to the preview here because no one should be encouraged to watch that nonsense. Besides, I can sum up that slasher flick for you in four sentences. Dude watches girls on webcam perform sex acts. Girls realize he’s a creeper and blocks the user. Dude gets butt hurt. Dude hackingly figures out the address of the webcam house, shows up with a Michael Myers knock-off mask and gets to killin’. Do we care how it ends? I don’t. I care more about the idea that some donkey in Hollywood thought of this as entertainment. For whom, all of the other butt hurt men that feel women owe them something? Is this an Elliot Rodger biopic? Isla Vista happened less than a fucking year ago and now there’s “Girl House”! I could sit here and type a bunch of angry words about a dumb ass movie. But, that won’t stop it from making the studio some cash. Further, my angry blog rant won’t stop sequels or similar storylines from hitting the silver screen. I’m here to write a PSA to men, #YesAllMen. I want to talk about the societal lie to which we’ve all subscribed.
I’ve been saving women from peril since childhood. It started with a pixelated Princess in Super Mario Brothers. It continued with Princess whats-her-name in the Legend of Zelda and various other helpless cartoon women. I’ve heard all of the fables. Pull her hair to climb the tower and she’ll be yours because you have the power. Slay the dragon with the sword and with her heart this will strike a chord. All story books, television shows, movies, and comics tell the same lie. Be a badass and win the girl. We’ve all bought into this lie. The unfortunate result is that many of us walk around acting as if women of the world owe us something. Some of us have balls enough to ask women to smile when we see them on the street. She owes us nothing. We want her to smile because it will satisfy our preconceived image of a pretty frail object that needs us to rescue her. Some of us feel that women owe us justification for not carrying on a conversation in a loud bar just because we paid for an over-priced cocktail. Some of us feel that a woman owes us affection or sex because she dressed a certain way and sat with us through dinner. I’m intentionally using the word, “us” because this is a PSA to all men, even myself. For the men that are reading this and thinking, “not me”, I have this to ask. How many times has your buddy expressed any of the aforementioned acts of entitlement without you putting him in check? Before any jackass, replies with some #NotAllMen bullshit, think carefully. Any time a dude was around me and spoke about a woman like an object and I let it slide and didn’t call him out as if he were talking about my sister, I’m just as guilty for allowing the culture of objectification to grow. “I’d tap that!” “These bitches trippin'” “She better give me some ass!” Have you heard those phrases without stepping up to slay the dragon next to you? “Hey man, that’s not cool.” It’s a simple phrase. Try it out the next time that some dude is talking about a woman the way you’d never allow anyone to talk about your mother.
All of this boils down to something very simple. No one owes anyone anything. Women don’t owe men anything. It’s inevitable that you’ll fall in love with the woman you’ve slayed many dragons to find. When you profess your love for her, she may tell you that she doesn’t feel the same. She may want to wait on someone better to come along. She may not be that into you. Before you decide to hack into her system, show up unannounced, lay hands on her, or begin any form of fuckery, seek counsel… from anyone other than another male. Don’t go to a chat room filled with equally clueless men to get some clarity on women. It’s like going to Italy to learn how to make Thai food. You might learn some things, but going to the source would be ideal. Find a platonic female friend (’tis true, they exist) and talk to her. Get some perspective, calm down, and accept the fact that she’s not that into you. She owes you nothing.
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