Last year, I quit working for a fitness club (that I’m not going to name). Just know that one of the reasons I left was because of the shallow clientele. On one of my last days there, I was handing out flyers for one of my upcoming burlesque shows. A woman asked me if it was “good burlesque”, to which I gave her a puzzled look. “What do you mean by good“, I asked. I sarcastically continued on, “do you think I’m going to invite you to a show and then tell you that it’s an awful/shitty show!?” I already thought she was a dumb ass, based on her question, and I didn’t like where this conversation was going. She clarified her definition of ‘good’. “No, I mean are they fat?” My jaw hit the fucking floor. “Wow!” was all that I could utter in response to such a shitty thing to say. “Are you suggesting that their weight determines their ability?”, I asked. “Well, no” she said “I just…” her words trailed off. I officially stopped listening to her and told her not to come to the show. In my head, I called her a piece of shit and she validated my decision to leave that particular fitness club. If you ever find yourself thinking that a woman (or a group of women) should look a certain way, there’s a chance you may be objectifying women. Women perpetuate the culture of objectification often and the aforementioned case is just one example.
More recently, a friend of mine was too busy to field an inquiry from someone that was looking to put on a burlesque show. So, I stepped in as the intermediary to book the show and help my friends get some work. I’m one of those rare people that prefers to have a five minute phone conversation in lieu of sending/receiving seven emails. So, I spoke on the phone to a man that was in charge of curating the show. No less than three times during our five minute conversation, he specified that he didn’t want any overweight girls. Again, “wow!”, was my response. I turned on my being a dick on purpose voice and asked him some follow-up questions. “What about skin color, tattoos, piercings, height, or any other specifics? Do you have any problem with those aesthetics?” He responded with a laissez-faire, “no” and didn’t seem to pick up on my irritated tone. I told him that I wouldn’t be able to help him. I promptly forwarded his name to other producers and performers in the Bay Area to make sure that he’d be ignored. I’ve seen the slogan “No Fat Chicks” on shirts and hashtags. It always makes me want to slap fools. My perception of that slogan is this: “I want arm candy and I should be able to request the aesthetics of it (despite my own appearance) like I would any other object. I should be able to specify the weight, height, and other measurements. Who gives a shit about personality!?” If you ever find yourself speaking about women as if you can find what you seek in a special order catalog, you’re objectifying women.
“But, Jet! I was just looking! I didn’t objectify her!” Here’s a simple test to determine the difference between just looking at an attractive woman and objectifying a piece of ass.
An attractive woman walks past you. You respond in the following manner: A.) Smile, make eye contact, keep your eyes on your path and keep it moving. B.) Turn your head to stare at her ass and make an audible comment. C.) Find yourself thinking about what you’d do to/with her body without knowing her name.
If you selected A as your answer you were just looking. Otherwise, you were hunting and she was nothing more than meat to you. PSA: You don’t have to break your neck and stare at “dat ass” just because it’s spectacular. (Side note: This also applies to Lesbians. I see some Lesbians looking at other women like cattle and talking some serious shit.) It’s not okay to objectify anyone that hasn’t given you permission to do so.
Who gives permission to objectify? I take my clothes off for entertainment. Burlesque is not consent to forget that I’m a human being. It’s not consent to grab my ass when I walk through the audience. This post isn’t about me (although that sort of thing does happen to me). The point I’m trying to make, with reference to my own experience, is that when a woman takes her clothes off on a burlesque stage she is not giving you permission to objectify her. Real talk, we know that audience members may do this and we can’t control it. But, we ask that you remember before we become the ambassador of your fetish that you remember we are human first. If you are unable to distinguish between a human being performing on stage and moving body parts under a spotlight, check yourself.
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