This post is dedicated to the people at whom I shout on my runs. Specifically, the lady that I almost ran over during my last two block sprint. When I visited Ireland, there was no shortage of signs at the airport reminding us to drive on the left side of the road. If you’ve ever driven here in the US, you know that we drive on the right side of the road. What do you think that means for walking on the sidewalk?
A.) Walk on the left side of the sidewalk B.) Walk mostly in the middle of the sidewalk in a zig-zagging pattern as you take in the sights C.) Walk 2, 3, or 4 abreast with your friends so that no one shall pass D.) Walk on the same side of the sidewalk that you’d drive
If you chose “D”, you win the grand prize! You are not a donkey monkey (read: jackass poop slinger)! Hooray!
Whenever I go for a run on a path (say around a lake or a neighborhood) I perpetually ask myself, is it just me? Am I the only one that tries to stay to the right? Is everyone else oblivious? Well, I asked the Google machine and it turns out that one other blogger is pretty annoyed about poor pedestrian etiquette as well. You can read that blog here and I couldn’t agree with it more.
I’m writing this post because I have four simple requests for those of you that will ever walk on the sidewalk (read: ALL of you).
1.) Slower traffic keep to the right. You’ve seen the sign on the US highways. The same should apply on sidewalks. “Says who, what makes you the expert, Jet!?” I’m just talking about etiquette, Baby! While it’s not illegal to pass on the right while driving, it’s considered good driving etiquette to pass on the left (for visibility reasons). Some sidewalks and paths are narrower than others. Stay to your right. If you are on the right side of the walk and the donkey coming towards you is in your lane, just stop. Become the rock and let them be the river. I made an exception to this rule as I was sprinting on Sunday. The donkey walking towards me held eye contact for about 20 yards as I was sprinting towards her. I was in the right lane of the sidewalk. She was to her left walking towards me with the rest of the sidewalk open to her. I didn’t say anything because no one’s that stupid, right? She was looking right at me and saw me get closer for 20, 15, 10 yards and just kept walking in the wrong lane. At the last minute, she moved in a hurried panic. I made no apologies for her slow processor. Stay to your right. A note to runners: Call out when you approach from behind. I use three simple phrases that are easy to say in between breaths. “Pardon me.” “On your left.” “Leash your dog.” Walkers, listen for these verbal cues (or the sound of fast footsteps). Tell me again, the benefit of noise canceling headphones as a pedestrian? That brings me to my next point.
2.) Be observant/aware of your surroundings. Congratu-fucking-lations, you paid $300 for some headphones that prevent you from hearing car brakes screeching, runners calling out, thieves creeping up behind you to snatch your smartphone, and other potential threats. Refer back to option B above. People tend to walk in a (sober) zig-zagging pattern due to distractions. Stop staring at your goddamned phone! Keep your eyes up and on the walk ahead.
3.) Keep your entourage tight, this is not the yellow brick road. When four people are walking towards me as I run, I think “where do they expect me to go if they’re taking up the entire sidewalk.” Be prepared to go single file at a moment’s notice. This isn’t YOUR sidewalk. What’s that? One of you needs to stop and tie their shoe and now you must all stop and chat on the pathway? No, you don’t. Keep moving or see #1. Step off to the side and chat for days if you want. Don’t block up the entire path.
4.) Keep your dog on a leash, on a short leash, on a short leash at your side, on a short leash at your RIGHT side. I DGAF which side the grass is on. You walk the dog, don’t let the dog walk you. “But, Sprinkles doesn’t like being on a leash.” It’s your dog, not your human child. YOU should run the show. One of the most dangerous obstacles I encounter as a runner is one of those retractable leashes that’s been reeled out to 15 feet long as the pup roams all over the sidewalk. I have to look for something that’s fishing line thin and hurdle it to prevent a tripping hazard. Don’t let your dog walk on the left as you walk on the right.
Still not sure how to walk amongst the general public, see my last blog on the subject. Just click here.
Comments